deal with it


i only understand like 9% of life


én is így


én is így


If vanilla coffee hits my tongue

I swear to fucking god I’ll throw up

I can’t even smell it without getting

that shaky sick feeling. 

you always wanted to drink it when 

you were sad

I always wanted to drink you


I see your mouth

and your teeth

and the way you speak

and I crack

and crack

and break

I used to fall asleep every night

with your mouth pressed against

my skin 

like a tattoo

and you’re gone

jesus fuck

but sometimes I can still

see the outline of your lips

on my shoulders


Your fingers used to crawl

up and down my spine

and that was your favorite place

to kiss me

and now it burns all the time

and I can’t get out of bed

without pain 

shooting up my back and

into my chest


The tips of your fingers

used to dance against mine.

I got to touch you

with my fingertips

and you got to touch me

with hands that tried to kill


when they stopped touching

my waist

and reached for the door


Summer sings like my old

air conditioner trying to freeze 

me to death

and we listened to that song all summer

when we turned the AC all the way

up so we could stay wrapped around

each other the whole  season without sweating

or bleeding

but it turns out

cold air

and falling in love

can’t stop the bleeding

and I was lightheaded 

and you fucking loved it

and I fucking loved you


Your mother went out of town

so we sat in your basement

sipping raspberry vodka lemonade

through smiling teeth

and I got drunk

and cried about things that 

happened in middle school

and you pretended to understand

and brushed my hair out

of my stinging eyes and sang my 

favorite songs until I laughed.

I haven’t touched a drink since

you left

because everything that used to

make it ache less

tastes like you,

you ruin everything

but thanks I guess,

I was dizzy too much of the 

time anyway


We spent two weeks sleeping on

my bedroom floor

because my father told me he

hated me and my mom and slammed the 

door on my hand when he left

and I had two broken fingers

and my bed twisted around me

like nightmares

and goodbyes 

and I kept waking up crying

so you pulled me onto the floor

because it wasn’t stained with 

memories of being able to breathe

without all that fucking pain

and you kissed my forehead

until I fell asleep

and I kissed your cheek

to wake you up


I put on peach lipstick because

I liked the way it looked

and you liked the way it tasted

it like candy 

and I kissed every inch of you

and your brother saw you wiping

it off the back of your neck

and he asked you what it was

and you told him

it was love 


Question of the day #Ferguson R.I.P Mike brown


Question of the day #Ferguson R.I.P Mike brown


Glow/Pale blog ☽

Glow/Pale blog ☽